Have you ever searched for something really hard, but the more you searched, the more frustrated you became? Well, that’s how I felt during much of the early years of my life as I searched for meaning and purpose. I searched in a number of unsuccessful ways until that day when I found what I was looking for. Please, let me explain.

During my early years, my parents regularly took me to a traditional church. In spite of going to church, God was never someone I knew, only someone I knew about. I followed church and family traditions, but that didn’t affect who I was or what I did. I felt empty inside.

During my teen years, this inner unhappiness exploded and I started to follow the youth cults of the day, looking “to do my own thing.” I attempted to quiet my inner struggles with the typical things that teenagers try to escape the boredom of reality: drugs, alcohol and sex.

Later on I attended college, where the rebellious attitude I had developed found plenty of fertile soil in which to grow.

During the height of the Vietnam war, the US Army activated me from the National Guard into active duty. Even though I was in the service, I was still active in the drug and Hippie culture and in the antiwar movement.

Still dissatisfied, I was looking for unchanging values, but nothing ever really solidified in my heart or mind. My questions remained unresolved and I knew I needed something, but I didn’t know what.

I delved into Eastern mysticism (the forerunner of the New Age movement) as well as popular cults, such as Christian Science, Jehovah’s Witnesses and various other spiritual dead ends. I felt that, compared with others, I was a good person, and I wanted to do the right thing. I even tried reading the Bible. I read the Ten Commandments and determined to obey them, but I got frustrated when I couldn’t.

In February of 1971 a fellow soldier started to talk to me about his faith in Jesus. I had grown up with Christianity and didn’t think it had anything new to offer me. This soldier showed me genuine compassion. He lived his faith and answered some of my questions. Finally, the guilt and emptiness of my undisciplined life made me so desperate that I fell on my knees before God and wept for hours. I cried because I had disappointed God so badly. I had turned away from Him, sinned against Him and rejected Him. I deserved his anger and judgment, but He offered forgiveness and mercy.

I accepted that Jesus suffered on the cross for me because I had broken God’s law. My life completely changed that night. Even though I didn’t know what I was searching for all those years, I found it.

Actually I found even more than I had expected. I received forgiveness of sin, peace with God and eternal life.

What about you? Are you like me and think you're a pretty good person? My trouble was that I compared myself to others, not to God's standards. God's standards are the Ten Commandments:

Did you ever tell a lie, even once? That makes you a liar. Did you ever steal something? That makes you a thief. Did you ever lust after someone? That makes you an adulterer at heart. You don't measure up to God's standards any more than I did. And we've only looked at three of the ten commandments.

You have stored up God's wrath which will be revealed on Judgment Day. Think of it, if He has seen your every thought, word, and deed, and if He is going to bring all your sins out as evidence of your guilt on the Day of Judgment, you will be found to be guilty. Your conscience has shown you right from wrong; you will be without excuse.

We have all broken the law a multitude of times, but God came to this earth in the person of Jesus Christ, and paid the fine for us. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." The Bible says, "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life, through Christ Jesus our Lord."

Eternal life is in Jesus Christ. He who has the Son has life. To find the way to God, to understand the truth of God's Word, and to receive the gift of eternal life it's necessary for you to come to Him in repentance.

I wonder if you have a concern for your soul. If you've never really confessed that you've broken God's laws, and you haven't asked Him to help you, read the prayer that follows. If you agree with it and want to make it your own, pray something like it yourself.

"Dear God, I understand that I have broken Your Law and sinned against You. Please forgive my sins. Thank you that Jesus suffered on the cross in my place. I now place my trust in Him as my Savior and Lord. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

“And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:13